What Today Sounded Like

7:06am...

Liz:(barely awake, one eye still closed.) "Can I (unintelligable blah-blah mumble mumble)?"

Me: "What?"
Liz: " Nevermind i have to go to bathroom, PLEASE!"
Me: ACHOO! ACHOO! AAa.... ugh.
Ben: "Momma, I need 3 long sleeve shirts...we are FREEZING out there! (The boys camped out in the yard last night.)
Wyatt Sr. (in bed, eyes still closed) "What's up? What's going on? Are you happy?....What was that preacher guy's name from that movie? Do you know what mote means?"
Abby: "Momma, I want cake!" (still morning..maybe 7:30)
Sam: "I want Abby's cake too."
Pick a child: "Can I get on the computer?"
Pick another child: "Can i go next?"
Me:"Liz, be ready when i get home."

much later

Abby: Can I have my cake?
Sam: Me too! Me too!
Me: "Wyatt Henry, please help me get the groceries out of the truck."
Ben: "When is it gonna be Abby's birthday time and where did you go?"
Wyatt Sr.: "Did you eat breakfast? Do you want some eggs?"
Me: "Lizzie, socks and shoes. Real shoes, not those shoes."
Lizzie: "Are you coming with me? When is Miss Elysa coming? Can you call her? What time is it now?"
Me: "Who has had breakfast?"
Wyatt Sr.: "Everyone but Abby."
Abby: "I want cake, my birthday cake."
Me: "You can have cereal. Cake is for after lunch."
Abby: "I don't want lunch. i want my cake."
Me: "Wyatt Henry, please get some more bags from the truck."
Sam: "I am helping too! Then i get some cake."
Me: "Lizzie! SHOES!"
Wyatt Sr.: " Hey, be sure to ask Elysa is she has ever read any Flannery O'Connor books or seen any movies based on her books."

10:30 ish
Elysa: "Laura is trying to decide where she wants to go. You and Lizzie can help us."
Me: "What is your favorite place?"
Laura:"I can't choose!"

(lots of talk about this, resulting in us eating at Ichi Ban..YUM-O)

Chatter about movies ...Dan in Real Life and Slumdog Millionaire and The Green Mile and To End All Wars ....and cussing 130 times!!!


Elysa: "Do you want to go to the park after or to Petsmart?"
Laura: "Petsmart."
Lizzie: "yes!"
Me:"Thanks for recommending that book "the Family Under the Bridge"..blah-blah-blah.....unit study of France...Notre Dame cathedral, louvre...blah-blah...Three Musketeers...Hunchback...gypsies..."

Elysa: "In Romania there are some places where gypsies aren't allowed in, or they can come in but they can't sit down."
Me: "I've always wanted to be a gypsie."
Elysa:" What?"
Me: "yep...I was a gypsie just about every halloween growing up. I like the head scarves and the bracelets and flowing skirts and cool jingling ankle bracelets.and traveling around the country in a RV or little gypsy trailer thing."

sound of laughter.

Elysa:" Do you like Sushi? I don't like it at all. "
Me: "I liked it at one place in Clinton, but with sauce and stuff on it."
Elysa: "Look at Lizzie with those chopsticks! Has she ever held them before? She's a natural."


sound of eating. sound of waiter singing happy birthday to Laura. chatter about deep conversations and friends and being nervous and being brave and being bored.

Lizzie: "Laura is going to open her present now."
Elysa: "OK! Wait for me to get the camera, laura....ok....."
Sounds of tissue paper and giggles and camera clicks.

Laura: (gasp) "THANKS LIZZIE!!! MOM! It's the Littlest Pet Shop Sticker Journal!"
Elysa: "Smile,Laura!"

More Thanks! and giggles and crinkling tissue paper.


Laura: "Look at this fish! What is called momma?"
Lizzie:"OH! Look at the cats!"
Laura:" LOOK! Look at that bird! It's doing tricks!!Mom!!!"
Me: "What is THAT? Is that a sugar glider?"
Elysa: "I don't know....there's a chinchilla"
Me: "I've never understood why people want ferrets."
Elysa: "We had one briefly..it stunk."
Me: "My brother-in-law had a chinchilla...they're sooo CUTE. And soft! They are the softest animal I've ever held."
Elysa: "mmmm-hmmm....that's why they make good coats."
Me: (sigh)...i know....EW!It IS a sugar glider..LOOK!"
Elysa: "OOH! We have to take a picture!"

Sounds of laughter and camera clicks.
Sound of Elysa on the phone.
sounds of chatter about cats and hairballs and evil eyes, chatter about birds and tricks and relatives who raise exotic birds.

Elysa: "Remind me to get Day Time Theraflu for Jim."
Me: "Day time Theraflu...got it."
Elysa: "Laura, do you see formula for kittens?"

chatter about staying in the car or going in the store, English roast and day time theraflu.

Me: "Lizzie, get up. Get off the bottom of the buggy."
Elysa: "Laura, bring the buggy back, darling.This cat food is heavy."
Me: "LIZZIE! UP!"

Chatter about tea...

and theraflu...sounds of more laughter and camera clicking.
Chatter and laughter and giggles all the way home.

Laura: "Mom! Can you please talk quieter?"
Elysa: "No, but you and Lizzie can move to the back row of the van."

Me: "OH! Someone's at the house! Do you recognize the car Liz?"
Lizzie: "Mammaw and Pappaw!!!"

Sound of footsteps on hardwood floors, greetings, cheers for caketime and welcome home.


2:30ish
Me: "What time is it? Did you eat lunch?"
Elysa: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Roberts!"
Abby: "Is it my cake time??"

Sounds of "goodbye" and "thank-you"and "happy Birthday!"

Wyatt: "What can I do to help?"
Me: "Umm...let's get the table cleared off. I'll throw this stuff in the oven."

Sound of knocking at the door.

Several people: "Come in!"
Pick a child:" Uncle GARY!!!!"
Gary: "hey! Hello, hello."

Sounds of greetings, welcomes and birthday wishes. More Uncles and Aunts and entering. more greetings.Chatter of big gift bags, cake and ice cream, and spicy party mix.

Wyatt Henry: " We need the candles! We need the Abigail candles, Momma."
Ben: "Momma, can I light the candles?"
Me: "No Baby, a grown-up needs to do that...OK! It's time to sing happy birthday. Wyatt, Liz, let's go! Come on, let's sing to Abby."

Ben: "Can I light the candles? Can I light one?"
Me: "No Ben, sit down. Let's sing."

Sound of everyone singing "Happy Birthday....make a wish, blow out the candles." Sound of camera clicking and laughter, chatter about cake and sherbet and ice cream.
Sounds of wrapping paper tearing, tissue paper crinkling, exclamations of joy and surprise...ooohs and aaahhhs....and laughter.

Sam: "Can i have more cake?"
Ben: "I'll have sherbet."
Bob:"Cake and mint chocolate chip...just a little."
Ann: "That's ALOT of ice cream!"
Wyatt: "Here! Take it."
Me: "Who wants coffee?"

Sounds of chatter about facebook and exercise and loved ones. Sound of children playing and footsteps music playing.

Wyatt Sr.: "Abby, let's go potty."
Me: "There's plenty of cake and ice cream...have more."
Ben: "Can I have a piece of Abby's candy?"
Sam:"Mommy, can I have more ice cream?"

Sound of "Good bye" and "thank you" and "drive safely".."i love you"...
Sound of water running in the tub and more giggles and playing...then crying.

Sam:"Abby is not sharing."
Abby: "No SAM!"
Me:" OK, time to get out...pjs!"
Ben:"Can i have a shower instead?"
Wyatt Sr.: "Wyatt and Liz...pjs."

Me:"Ok...now is your chance to have something to eat before bed. Not cake or candy or ice cream. You can have a sandwich or pizza, or.."
Liz: "Can I have a banana sandwich?"
Everbody else: "PIZZA!!"

Sounds of eating and cleaning up.

Me: "Why am I insisting on fitting this big ol' colander in the dish washer? I can wash it myself in 3 seconds"
Wyatt Sr.: "BINGO!"
Ben: "Abby, is your sock monkey named George?"
Wyatt Henry: "Betsie named a tree George.Over in the woods, where I made that fort."
Lizzie: "I am the bubble fairy and the spiders are my servants!"
Me: "OK! 8:00...everyone to bed."
Sam: "Can I sleep with Abby?"
Me: "No, everybody sleeps in their own beds."
Sam: "Can I sleep with Baby Alive? Abby says I can."

Wyatt Sr: "Want to watch a movie?"
Me: " Sure, whatcha got?"

Wyatt Henry: "Mom, Sam and Abby are out of bed."
Liz: "Hey mom,I think you should tell Daddy about where Abby fell asleep last night."
Sam: "Abby stop!"
Wyatt Sr: "GO TO SLEEP!"
Me: " Abby fell asleep on the floor, on top of the AC vent."
Lizzie: "How do you spell "our"
Me: Go to bed. Wait. Our as in 'It's our house' or as in 'In one hour from now?"
Lizzie: It's one hour from now.
Me:" H-O-U-R....now go to bed."
Ben: "Momma, my nose feels weird."
Me: "Go to bed."
Ben: (groan)
Wyatt Sr.: "Ben, do what your mother said right now. Go, right now. Walk straight to your room."

Wyatt Sr. "Ok...according to netflix, this has 4.5 stars for me...It's called God On Trial. Jews in Auschiwitz decide to put God on trial."

Sam: "Abby undressed Baby Alive. Now, Abby has to dress Baby Alive."
Me: "You need to go to bed"
Sam: "ABBY, YOU NEED TO DRESS BABY ALIVE BACK UP!"
Wyatt Sr. "SAM! Go to bed."
Wyatt sr.: "What do you think? You want to watch it or should I keep looking?
Me: "It sounds ok, what else you got?"
Sam: "Mommma will you help me?"
Me: "No, go to bed." (mean momma)
Sam: Baby Alive's diaper came off.
Me: "She's fine, go to bed."
Sam: "But..."
Me: "NO! BED!"
Sam: "Well then...(thud! baby alive hits the floor)
Sound of spanking. sound of crying.
(lots of crying)
Ben: "Will you tell Sam to stop fake crying?"
Wyatt Sr: "Go to bed."

several minutes pass

sounds of fan blowing, dishwasher running and me typing.

Liz: "Abby's poopy."
Me: (SIGH!)
Wyatt Sr.: "ok."

Me: "Ok, you want to just watch that?"
Wyatt: "Uh-huh...give me a minute."

sounds of fan blowing, crickets chirping and fingers typing.