When I Grow up....

A friend recently asked what new career path she should take. She, like most of us, want somethingt that requires minimal training and maximum cash. I'm no help whatsoever in this department. NONE.
When I was little I wanted to be a secretary when I grew up. Yep. Aim high. And I'm proud to say I "did my dream", thank you very much.

Before that, however, I went to college. In college I studied pyscology & sociology. Tried that as a profession. I was really, really, REALLY bad in the abnormal psych field. I worked for a week in a group home in Texas for people with schizoprhenia, depression and other funky mind tricks. I was horribly paranoid that I had EVERY illness I saw manifested in the people I was supposed to help. I left shortly after one sweet young girl asked me if I was Bill Sykes.

You know, from Oliver Twist.

I did social work for about 5 years. I think I was good at that. I enjoyed it while in New England, not in Texas.

Soon,I had the oppurtunity to live out my life's dream as a secretary. No, I'm not kidding. A secretary at a non-profit grass roots organization. Yep. Aimimg high, I tell you. It was my destiny. It was there that I met (er....worked for) my husband! So now, I use my very overpriced private college bachelors degree in Social Work & Counseling and Pyscology,(PLUS a minor in sociology) to raise our five children. For free. So, as you can see, I'm the last person to give advice on lucrative careers. BUT here are a few things I'd like to get paid for:

1.) Read books. Only the good ones, though.

2.) Taste testing chocolate. Again, only the good stuff. None of that dollar store chocolate that tastes like plastic.

3.)Beading jewelry, but only when the fever hits.

4.) Going for scenic drivess. Of course I would get paid for mileage.

5.)Baking cookies. Well, OK..eating them. Baking them would be overtime.

6.) Drinking coffee, although I realize this would be the death of me and my sweet family.

7.) I'd like to get paid for saying, "Stop whining." or "I'm ON THE PHONE!"
MAN, what a gold mine!

8.) Doing my family's laundry. Another gold mine. Ironing? Overtime.

9.)Teaching my kids. Yes, I know people really do get paid for doing that, but they have to teach about 25 kids at a time. Not this lady. Just give me my 5 and hand me my check.

10.) Smelling leaves burning. Of course this would only be seasonal. Off season smelling of burning leaves would definitely be extra.