Thursday, June 5, 2008


Today, at the zoo with my girlfriend(who shall remain nameless) and her kids, I said a momism. Something only a mother would say. Something so completely ridiculous that only another mother would understand what you mean when you say it. I told my children not to drink the water I had given them because if they got thirsty I would NOT be buying them a drink.
Now I ask you, what on earth does that mean? "Here's some water---don't drink it." Does drinking water make you thirsty? And if they get thirsty, I will NOT be buying them anything and they had better not drink that water I gave them!
Well, although my girlfriend (who is a mother of 7 and shall remain nameless) laughed mercilessly at me (ok, i laughed too) for the rest of the zoo trip, she knew what I meant! SEE! Only another mother, folks!
What I meant was, of course, "Don't drink ALL your water at once. You need to make it last. If you run out before we are finished with the zoo, you may get thirsty because it is so hot, and I don't want to buy more drinks since they cost a small fortune here." But who is going to say all that? By the time you get all those words out, the child has finished the water. That's it...over! Conservation of words, people! Economy of speech.
Anyway, I tried in vain to come up with other momisms I had heard from other moms. I came up empty. Even now, all I can think of is a part of Bill Cosby's stand up "Himself" when he's talking about things moms say when they're angry. He imitates a mother scolding her children saying, "Now when I ask you a question, you keep your mouth shut!" I understand that.


Elysa said...

This nameless mom has thought about your momism SEVERAL times today! You make me laugh!!!! Its just one of the gazillion reasons I'm glad you're my friend. :D

Rhonda Jeanne said...

Don't sit in that chair!

Rhonda's mom said...

From the "Momilies" book you gave me----
"Fine--don't believe your mother-what does she know"
Don't do anything you wouldn't do if I was watching"
"Don't "WHAT?" me.
"As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.