Friday, October 17, 2008

Need to Know Info

My mom sent this to me today. It's very useful information for you men out there. It just may save your life one day. It will help you understand women a little better.


(1) "Fine!": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) "Five Minutes.": If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch TV before helping around the house.

(3)"Nothing.": This is the calm before the storm, particularly when it is used as an answer to the question, "What's wrong?" Nothing means something and you should be on your toes.

4) "Go Ahead.": This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) "That's Okay.": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. It is soooooo not okay. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) "Thanks!": A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint. Just say "You're welcome." (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "You're welcome" ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) "Whatever.": Plead for your life. You’re as good as dead.

(9) "Don't worry about it, I got it.": Worry. Alot. When you hear this it means that a woman has told you to do something several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.


Wyatt Roberts said...

This would be funny to read if a person were single. But it's all TRUE -- every word of it.

Single guys, consider yourselves warned.

thompanilla said...

Wyatt's right, single guys. I can also confirm the reality of these observations. Additionally, I believe Rhonda has been warned by the Syndication of Ladies Alerting People (or "SLAP") that she has overstepped her bounds in informing us men about these 'secrets'. Her punishment includes a 3-week ban on shopping and as well as a restriction on reading anything by Jude Deveraux...which is a pretty stiff penalty. Hang in there Rhonda!

Rhonda Jeanne said...

Hey Johnny-Johnny! Good to hear from you. Man I can't believe SLAP got to me. Oh well, such is life!

Wyatt Roberts said...

SLAP...I like that.

But who the heck is Jude Deveraux?